Introducing Tommie Boy and the Church of the Mind
Another excerpt from The Adventures of Boltman – a novel
After a few minutes Kevin managed to turn away, overcome with revulsion. “Do you think we could watch something else?”
“Sure, dude.” Jack tapped the remote and the screen filled with a familiar, stylized red S, a heroic symbol known the world over. They both perked up as the image spun and shrank, flipping backwards like a coin until it landed onto the chest of a handsome actor in blue tights, anointing him.
“What is that?” Kevin wondered.
“That’s Tommie Boy,” Jack explained, earning an ironic look from Kevin. “He’s awesome, but, dude,” Jack scratched his knee, looking perplexed. “When did he play Superman?”
The legendary movie star posed with hands on hips, red cape fluttering gently behind him, eyes shining brightly as Tommie Boy flashed his iconic, impish smile. It was hard not to like the man, though Kevin tried. Tommie Boy possessed a strange, almost unnatural charisma that was the cornerstone of his success. The camera panned and pulled back to reveal the rest of the scene.
Tommie Boy stood in the center of a wide dome, the inner sanctum of a dark, sinister space-craft, surrounded by savage-looking aliens that drooled for his flesh. His cape fluttered as Tommie Boy locked eyes with the alien leader, a giant of a humanoid with a thick mass of tentacles on an otherwise bare skull and a bulge near bursting the seams of his black armored loins.
“You are a worthy adversary,” the alien admitted, drool spilling from his lips. “But you will fall, as has the rest of your race, whom we have so easily enslaved through subtle means. We have filled their food with additives and flavorings that destabilize their emotions. We have burdened them with addictions to pharmaceuticals that secretly make your people weak and amenable to our will. Their thoughts are ours as we, the Dark Masters, manipulate them from the ether. You are the only one of your people who has withstood our assault, but you will fail. Even now my disembodied legions are filling your unconscious mind with depressing, suicidal thoughts. Soon you will break, and you will live a life of artificial self doubt, denial and depression, until one day you will end your own existence. You will save no one.”
The alien leader laughed, his jaw flapping like a wooden marionette’s, while his noise echoed throughout the chamber. The rest of the aliens joined in the taunt, but Tommie Boy remained unimpressed. He waited, beaming that easy, boyish smile while he waited for the din to die down, for the perfect moment to make his stand.
“Is that all you’ve got, General?”
“All?” the alien blustered.
“Because you had me at food additives.”
The fanfare from Superman the Movie began to ring as Tommie Boy strode forward, gripped the General’s uniform at the chest with one fist and lifted the surprised alien off the deck. The other aliens jolted to their leader’s aide, barking with outrage but Tommie Boy didn’t care. He beamed up at the helpless alien, letting it dangle in his grasp until the others were almost upon him before sending the General soaring across the dome with an easy gesture. The other aliens gasped as their leader burst through the heavy metal structure, letting in the vacuum of space that eventually consumed them all. In no time only Tommie Boy remained, defying the laws of physics as he admired his handiwork, eyes twinkling like distant stars.
“And cut!” A voice called from off screen.
Jack groaned, disappointed, as it became obvious they were watching a commercial. The film crew scurried across the set while Tommie Boy strode towards the camera, gleaming with confidence, brown eyes burning with an intensity that Tommie Boy used like a weapon, wielding a long, hypnotic gaze.
“I’ve never played Superman on film,” he admitted, “but I am one in real life. Do you know what I do when I fall off a horse playing polo? I get back up,” Tommie Boy laughed mockingly. “I always get back up.”
The camera followed as Tommie Boy strolled across the now bustling set. “How do I do it? I’ll bet you think it comes naturally. You do, don’t you?” he winked. “You’re right, but a big part of my success I owe to the Church of the Mind. You see, I remember what it’s like to be like you; dominated by your thoughts and emotions. You know you could accomplish anything you set your mind to, but somehow you always end up blocking yourself. You don’t know why, but it always happens.
“The Church of the Mind changed all of that for me. Not only did they explain why I was blocking myself, they gave me the tools I needed to change. And they can give these tools to you. If,” Tommie Boy pointed for emphasis, “you are fully committed to being the absolute, best you can be, the Church of the Mind can help you. Right now.” Tommie Boy plopped into the director’s chair next to one of the cameras. “All you have to do is pick up the phone and call your local branch. If you’re serious, if you’re truly committed,” he smiled knowingly, “you’ll do it.” The camera held Tommie Boy’s intense gaze for a long moment before fading to the next commercial.
“That guy’s got issues,” Kevin commented. He’s a villain, the voice inside him barked, making Kevin nervous.
“Yeah. I heard on the news that his Church is some kind of cult.”
Kevin grunted. “What else is on?”
“There’s a zombie movie on channel twenty-two.”
Kevin agreed and Jack changed the channel once more.
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Very, very good.